Funerals can truly be augmented by a poem that is apt and fitting for the person you have just lost. The following list of funeral poems about bartending are predominantly for those who worked behind a bar, but also those hobby mixologists.
Bartender’s Prayer
Author Unknown
Bottles of red, bottles of white,
Barrels of brown and glasses so bright,
Keep the night peaceful and the customers polite,
Don’t let a fight break out tonight.
Keep the men happy and the girls nice,
Let everybody be merry and have a good night.
Keep the hookers out and the troublemakers at home,
Leave the anger and misgivings at the door.
Let the beer flow steadily and the wine pour right,
Make the cider fizz lightly and the cocktails look bright,
May the bar remain clean and the floor vomit-free,
And please, let there be no trouble for me.
The Last Barman Poet
by Tom Cruise
I am the last barman poet,
I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make,
Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake,
The Sex on the Beach, the schnapps made from peach,
The Velvet Hammer, The Alabama Slammer,
I make things with juice and froth,
The Pink Squirrel, the 3-toed Sloth,
I make drinks so sweat and snazzy,
The Iced Tea, the Kamikazi,
The Orgasm, the Death Spasm,
The Singapore Sling,
The Dingaling.
America you’ve just been devoted to every flavor I got,
But if you want to got loaded,
Why don’t you just order a shot?
Bar is open.
My Shift Is Over
by Mark Gregory
Some people say keeping a bar
Is the worst job on the Earth
I know the truth; how wrong they are
If only they knew its worth!
I’m all the jobs rolled into one:
Host, therapist, friend,
I give the people what they want,
I’m basically a godsend.
I chat about people’s lives
I help to solve their woes,
I make damn sure their night will thrive,
And they keep me on my toes.
I get to know them, one and all,
Some come in every night,
All shapes and sizes, big and small:
I make sure they’re alright.
And all the while I’m pouring drinks
For all my treasured punters:
Lawyers, doctors, teachers, shrinks,
Accountants and headhunters.
But now my shift is over
I’ve done my very best
Last orders; it’s time for closure
And time for me to rest.
To access our full list of funeral poems, click here.
All poems featured on this website are free to use during any ceremony, although it is good practice to make sure the author is mentioned, if known. Should you require a celebrant for your ceremony, be it a funeral, a wedding, a naming ceremony or something else, feel free to get in touch. I am a double award-nominated Family and Funeral Celebrant covering the entire UK, and would be happy to help you commemorate in a meaningful and personal way.
